The Things That We Do
by NCISgirl1527
Summary: We all have reasons for doing the things we do. Some better better than other, but they still justify our actions. Often only to us because they are reasons we could never share with those around us. A look in to Tara's thoughts after the season 2 finale.


**_I used to really had Tara but then I considered that everyone has their reasons for who they are and what they do. I wondered what Tara's reasons were and why she chose to leave the team. Was it really because she just didn't care?_**

_**Spoilers: The Lost Heir Job, The Maltese Falcon Job**_

**_Disclaimer: I don't own it. I don't know what I would do with it if I did. The song lyrics are "Queen of My Heart" by Westlife_**

"Are you going to be okay?" Nate asked Tara as she prepared to walk away.

"What do you think?" she asked in response. Then she disappeared through the crates that were stacked on the top deck of the ship. She did not go far. She heard the sound of shouting and went back to the edge of the boat. She crept as close as she could without anyone knowing that she was there.

She watched as Nate handcuffed himself to the railing and offered himself up in exchanged for his team's freedom. She watched at Eliot, Parker, and Hardison ran towards the safety of the chopper. She watched as Sophie walked forward and kissed Nate. Then Sophie smacked Nate across the face and ran towards the helicopter to join the others.

Tara watched as Nate sank down against the railing still holding his middle. She watched as they questioned who he was. She watched as he looked up to the helicopter flying overhead and said, "I am Nathan Ford, and I am a thief." Then he collapsed completely. As he feds swarmed in on him, Tara turned tail and ran.

-0-0-0-0-0-

_I'll always look back_

_As I walk away_

_This memory_

_Will last for eternity_

-0-0-0-0-0

Leaning back in her chair she closed her eyes again. She could not get that scene out of her head. She had worked with Nate, Parker, Eliot, and Hardison for just shy of six months, and she had known Sophie for years.

When Sophie first asked her to fill in on the team, Tara had laughed in her face. The Sophie Tara had met nearly a decade ago would have walked away and never looked back. Actually the old Sophie would never have grown attached to a group of people at all. Like Tara, Sophie had used to be a free spirit.

Tara only joined the team for Sophie because she owed Sophie a fairly big favor. Sophie had bailed her out of a really bad situation back two or three years ago. It had involved several large angry members of the Russian mob and a cornered Tara. Anyway Tara remembered the conversation that led to her joining the team.

FLASHBACK

"So will you do it?" Sophie asked hopefully finally having explained what she wanted.

"Are you kidding?" Tara asked Sophie, "I don't work with people. You know I don't work with people."

"Please," Sophie nearly begged her friend, "I need someone there to make sure they are doing alright."

"Do they really mean that much to you?" Tara asked.

"Yes they do," Sophie replied firmly.

"I don't know if," Tara started.

"You owe me Tara," Sophie reminded the other woman finally playing her trump card.

"Alright," Tara replied, "I will do it."

She could not comprehend caring about people as much as Sophie seemed to care about these people, but she owed Sophie. For that she would put her feelings aside and do what the other woman asked. Anyway once it was over it would not be hard to walk away.

END FLASHBACK

Six months and that had all changed. She understood exactly why these people meant so much to Sophie. They were tough outlaws if you just looked at them for a moment, but if you got to know them you would see who they really were. They were kind, caring people who helped those who had nowhere left to turn.

It had taken her a little longer to understand why Sophie cared so much to Nate. In fact it was not until Sophie's return that Tara really understood. As she watched an injured Nate give himself up to protect the other members of his team, she understood why Sophie saw him as a great leader.

The other thing that the past six months had changed was her ability to walk away. When she was growing up her parents were often fighting. It did not take much to set them off. Even setting the dinner table wrong could lead to a huge fight. From time to time, her parents tried to connect with her but they failed. They were to caught up with arguing with each other.

By the time she was fifteen she was sick and tired of always being of the middle of their fights. She gathered up the cash she had along with some from her parents and walked right out the front door. She never looked back. From that moment on she relied completely on herself and time did nothing but reinforce her belief that people would let you down if you let them really know you.

She had conned people all on her own for the next ten years until she met Sophie. She and Sophie had worked several cons together that first year and then they split up at Tara's insistence. Over the next ten years they met up every so often to work a con but they never stayed together long. Tara was too paranoid for that.

She had trod on some very important toes during her time and knew that if she stayed anywhere for a year it would get her and anyone around her killed. Sophie was her first real friend in a decade. There was no way in the world that Tara would endanger Sophie or anyone else because of things she had done.

She had worked that way for twenty years and for all those years she had no problem with it. Now she did. Nate and Sophie had both offered her the chance to stay but she had turned them down. She wanted to stay but if she stayed she would endanger all of them. That was not a risk she was willing to take.

She had played her cards and now she had to deal with the fallout. It was her burden to bear and her risks to take. Not anyone else's.

And so she would continue as she had for the past decade…alone…

_**Did you like it? Did you hate it? Please tell me so I can make it better. **_


End file.
